This quick read scares me.
And while we are at it, here are Dr. Phil's strategies for managing anger and frustration he calls Anger Manageemt 101 from his October 2004 magazine "The Next Level." The mag is free; sign up on Drphil.com.
- Adjust your expectations. The simple truth is that things won't always go your way. If you don't expect everyone and everything to revolve around you, you won't get upset when they don't.
- Get some persepctive. A week or a month from now, will you even remember that some fool cut you off on the freeway? If you're in touch with your authentic self -- who you really are and what matters most -- you won't get wound up when little things go wrong.
- Find healthy ways to vent. When you spot the signs that your body is gearing up for an explosion (such as sweaty palms, a tight chest, or feeling flushed),take steps to blow off setam before you blow your top. Try taking deep breaths to calm your revved up nervous system, or simply remove yourself grom the situation until you've cooled off. Exercise is another effective way to vent. Anger is a very physical experience. It's important to take that energy out of your body instead of turning it back on yourself.
- Use your words. People often get angry because they don't have the vocabulary to express what they're really feeling, such as hurt, frustration or fear. Try expressiong yourself without using the words angry or mad. You may discover that the true source of your anger is not whomever or whatever you're lashing out at.
- Identify and execute your Minimal Effective Response. They key word here is effective. Blowing up or plotting revenge usually is not in your best interest. Instead, ask yourself, "what is the outcome I want to create?" Find a constructive action that will lead to that outcome, such as talking to a friend who's hurt you.
- Embrace forgiveness. Remember life law #9 there is power in forgiveness. By letting go of anger and hatred you regain control over your own emotional life.
Albert Einstein is credited with saying that the most important decision we ever make is whether we belive we live in a friendly or a hostile world. Choose - and practice -- living in the friendly world, and you'll experience the difference in your relationships and your health.
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