Here's one of my favorite articles on the importance of emotional intelligence written by Peter Senge, author of The Fifth Discipline.
Just like Senge, I have found asking for help difficult. But I do remember once, when I was extremely distressed, it was my only option. And it produced the results I needed. I suppose you could say I was a frog in boiling water? (Bert's blog has a very funny post on frogs in boiling water.)
I was horseback riding on a ranch in Wyoming and about six of us went out to bring back a few horses that had wandered off. We had been in back country like no other for three days already. And now we had an important task to attend to. Horses like to run in packs, so when we reached the errant horses, the ones we were riding on instinctively wanted to join the others. We were warned of that beforehand and I felt comfortable with it. But, in a split second I felt my horse take control of the situation, beyond a point I could recover. Without even thinking of any other option, I calmly raised my voice and said firmly, "I need help." Of course, visually they could see I was in need of assistance; instinctively I knew that my screaming would have been redundant. Most efficiently, I got the help I needed -- the guide told me how to regain control and coached me until I was back in control.
I distinctly remember sensing how odd it was to have felt complete helplessness and a complete sense of control all within a span of about 45 seconds. I knew then that those 45 seconds would have been wildly different had I not asked for help. In any event, I sure do hope that means that asking for help is getting easier to do. I believe it has.
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