Communicating effectively during difficult moments takes practice, coaching and skill. But communicating effectively during �no-brainer� moments, should be, well, a no-brainer! What I�m getting at is that I have a pet peeve about how poorly people say hello when making a telephone call. And it�s such a no-brainer moment! (I won�t just complain; I�ll also provide a suggestion for an effective hello.)
A man my husband has known for 20 years calls infrequently (let�s call him D). They were good friends during the beginning of their relationship during which they managed to build several homes together. Of course, relationships change, and now they keep contact only infrequently. I have met this man several times, but at the same time, I have never really had a one-on-one conversation with him, so I�m certain I can�t call him my friend. But I do know him, and he knows me. And this is what it sounds like when he calls and I pick up the phone:
�Hi, is G there?�
Excuse me? This happened the other day, too, when my cousin called and my husband answered. I wasn�t home, so the conversation went like this:
Cousin: Hi, is Martha there?
Husband: No, can I take a message?
Cousin: Yes, this is F calling.
Husband: Oh, hi, F, this is G (and they engaged in some small talk before taking a message).
Both D and F are fine people, with good social manners in other settings. What gives? Could it be that they feel that because we�ve never had one-on-one conversations, they don�t have a �connection� to us. Or, could it be that if they connect with us by name, we�ll keep them on the phone, thereby inconveniencing them? Do they feel that they are bad at small talk and do everything possible to avoid it?
Whatever the reason, if you are guilty of this, try this simple greeting. (Let�s suppose you are D):
�Hi Martha, this is D, is G there?�
To which, if you are Martha, you could say:
�Hi D! Nice to hear from you. Let me get G for you.� (Notice that in case they they really do have some of the above-stated hang-ups, try to keep it friendly but quick.)
This strategy also works well in business:
�Hi, this is Martha Jones calling and I was hoping to speak with Joe Smith. Is he available please?� (If you know the screener�s name, by all means, insert it after the Hi.)
Yes. I got an e-mail that had those sentences of wisdom. One of them said to answer the phone with a smile, the person on the other end will hear it. I'll try.